The last few years I’ve started doing a deeper, slower, dive and meditation in the Word. This has caused some problems for me because it puts me in the reality that not all of scripture is clean, smooth, pretty, and cozy. In fact, there’s a ton of scripture that has forced me into a crisis of belief, challenging my proclamation of my faith in God, because you see, there’s a ton of scripture that downright doesn’t fit “our (my) narrative.”
When I come to pieces like in Jeremiah 34, all I can do is stop and sit at the feet of my beautiful Lord and hand him my beating heart of flesh and ask him to revive it with His truth.
I have to choose to offer up my eyes and ears on a silver platter, and ask him to make them new.
I have to give up my mind to him and ask him to take it, recalibrate it, train it.
Then, I have to offer him my will, “Not my will Lord, but Yours,” even though I’m far from comprehending…
Show me your ways;
Teach me your truths;
Lead me in your paths;
Guide me in your ways…
For my hope is in you all the day long.
“I draw near, I pledge my heart to approach you my Lord…”
“I will proclaim LIBERTY to you, to the SWORD, PESTILENCE, and FAMINE…”
That doesn’t sound like “liberty…”
“I will deliver you to TROUBLE…”
That doesn’t sound like liberty…
I long to know your ways.
I set my face before you. I want to know you. The real you! Not the you that man (I) has come in and distorted. I want to know the real, raw, true you, that encompasses all the things I don’t understand and the things I think I do.
I want to know the difficult to swallow parts.
I want to know the glorious parts.
I want to know the uncomfortable parts.
Make me uncomfortable.
Shake ￼me (oh what a fearful proclamation)!
Even so Lord..
“Therefore thus says the Lord: ‘You have not obeyed Me in proclaiming liberty, every one to his brother and every one to his neighbor. Behold, I proclaim LIBERTY to you,’ says the Lord—‘to the SWORD, to PESTILENCE, and to FAMINE! And I will DELIVER you to TROUBLE among all the kingdoms of the earth.”